Sunday, November 2, 2014

Fall {or year round} Wreath

 I had a crafting break through the other day. I was invited to a craft night at mutual friends house. I thought about not going because it had been so long, and I didn't really have time to go to the store to buy stuff for a new project. Even though I have 29 projects ready to be made or finished in the house already I didn't want to do them.

I searched pinterest and found the one. The one that would get me out of my funk and would bring be back to the land of the living crafters.  It was a beautiful stick wreath with amazing wrapped fabric flowers. I can make this I thought. Not needing to go the store was the selling point. My kids are not allowed in crafting stores. Ever. Ever. Ever.

My inspiration.

I gathered the kids and we went on a stick hunt. I used a cardboard box as she did with hers. I didn't have enough fabric for the flowers, and I didn't want to make it exactly the same. I wanted to put my spin on it.
I used some fabric I had to do my signature ruffled fabric and rosettes I used to make for my onesies and headbands. It felt so nice to create something again. I went to the craft  night and for the first hour tried desperately to socialize like a normal person but all I could think about was my glue gun calling my name. I watched the clock till I heard someone else mention they were going to start and I practically ran for the table.  

 It was glorious. I felt so good. I promise dear glue gun not to forget you for so long ever again.

{In fact it was such a nice feeling that I made yet another amazing craft for a baby shower. Which I would go into, but my baby is calling for me and it will need to wait for another day.}


Saturday, October 18, 2014

Popcorn


I did it again. I let it boil and heat up inside me. Then like a volcano I explode. This time the littlest took the brunt of the impact. She's a screamer at the end of the day. The kind of scream that makes you think bad thoughts. The kind of scream that pushes even the calmest of moms to a point they never thought possible.

The others want popcorn. And why not? I did offer it to them. But now. After this. I want nothing to do with Saturday evening fun. Snuggles. Bedtime. None. I want them in bed and I want to take a glass of wine into the shower and scream. 

I sit here thinking just find it in there to turn it around. It's not done yet. Today is still here. They don't know I lost it. Curious George has been their babysitter while the baby and I work things out. They will be so sad when I hurry them to bed and yell about their attitudes. 

I must turn this around. I am not a failure. Just weak. And tired. And frustrated. It doesn't matter to them that I am tired. They want fun and I must dig deep to say no to defeat and yes to popcorn and snuggles. Even if it is all a mess. Or my feet hurt. Or I feel stretched so thin. Motherhood is a process of stretching. Our skin at first. Our hearts with our first sight of them. Our souls. Our emotions. All stretched for these little people. All so that they have the chance to grow to be big people who don't make the same mistakes I do. Who don't become so overwhelmed with anger. Who don't make sweet cheeks hot with tears because mom was mean. 

I must go make popcorn. I must do it to show myself I can. CAN turn this around. 
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