My hearts

I feel like I could hold her forever. The way she melts into me each night after her bottle.

I thank the lord for sleeping babies. The girls are teething and that means shorter fuses and tired mommy arms.

The boy is going thru something. I don't know what it is exactly but he's struggling. Maybe it's the sisters. They get a lot of attention being babies. And he is so sufficient I think the poor kid gets lost in the everyday. I try to make the few moments we have alone count. We play real board or card games. We read. We do "together time."

But it's hard. At one point this love of mine was my universe and had my sole attention. My mama's heart grows with each child, but unfortunately I don't get any extra limbs, or have more lap space.

And I am short with him. I expect a lot. I realize I put so much on his small shoulders. Sometimes too much. Sometimes the right amount. But that's the thing, the recipe for the right amount changes. All the time. It feels impossible to duplicate and must be just the right ingredients.

Teaching him, leading him. Growing a man is hard and toilsome work. But. I come from strong stock. We Swedes were built to last (and birth babies so my mother told me) and motherhood is not for the faint of heart. Quitting is not an option. So I toil and work hard. Getting my hands dirty in the raising of children. Weeding and planting. Sowing seeds of character into my children. Praying..."dear lord, don't let them remember my anger and tears. But instead my love for them and their hearts." For they are my hearts. Just beating outside my body.

"Where does it belong" {basket}

there is not one day that goes by when my living room doesn't look like the toy monster threw up in it. 

with three levels of toys (6 months+ baby toys, toddler toys, and big boy toys) it's chaos.

the kids all have their own toys in their room and we have some communal stuff mixed in with the baby stuff, i.e.-little people, building blocks etc. however, things get brought out and shared, or shouted over but that's a post for another day.

i try to make sure every day before nap and each evening we clean up and show responsibility with our things. i was finding though that carrying armfuls of toys was becoming tedious and difficult for my 4 year old. 

and then i took a trip to the dollar store. 

the great thing about a dollar store trip is that their carts are so small i can't bring all the kids, which means....mommy date!! 

while at one of my trips i found an awesome basket and i lighting struck my brain! 

thus our "where does it belong?" basket.

each child takes a turn carrying the basket and filling it up with items that belong in their room.

they go thru the main area of the house and then the opposite sibling's room too just to make sure.

 the basket is a great size, so lots and lots can fit, and with the two handles it's easy to manage.

when done they take the basket in their room and put things back in their place.

that part is huge. usually things end up on the floor because he's just dumping his armful. 

then once the basket is empty it's the next child's turn and when totally done we fill it with the baby's toys and leave it on her mat. 

i am really please with how this has helped the routine of cleaning up. i've actually been thinking of using it for my things that end up in the wrong rooms. because let's be honest, i'm just as much of a mess maker as my kids. 

IG {all about the girls}

this weeks feed was heavily female oriented.
but then again, my household is primarily female, so it was bound to happen.

i think i say it all the time, but holy thunder thighs batman! 

they are amazing in real life. 

changing this kids clothes is one of my favorite things to do because it get to squash those yummy thighs. 

kinda playing together. 

that's my old sesame street playhouse that my mom saved. you can here her playing with it and saying, "doot dee doot" in a sweet girly singsong voice. love it.

those cheers are wonderful. and i love a milk drunk exhausted sleepy baby at the end of the day. 

i do not however love a 7 month old who is crawling. she started on the "white-ish" (let's be honest it hasn't been white since i had kids.) carpet where the paci is. 60 seconds later i found her across the floor. 

the girls and i took a few days to go visit a girl friend of mine and her two girls in arroyo grande. 

these girls are 1 year apart and they did great together. 

these girls 2 months apart and they loved each other!!

i have a major obsession with reading books. always have. kids kinda take time available out of my day, but when i got back this little bundle of wordy love was waiting for me! i may or may not have gone on a 'book-deprived' shopping spree on amazon.

she is the happiest kid i've ever had. everything is smiles. everything is happy.

she got herself stuck in the basket and was totally happy about it. 

i'm linking up with jeanette again.

it's been warm, albeit hot even. which hurts me to say. i hate the heat out here, so i'm thinking the beach or the pool this week. hope everyone says cool and has a great weekend!!

IG Friday

my week was as follows...

more games, less screens.

only problem is he has my genetic disposition to win. and that means i have to loose.

i'm not a fan of loosing.

pizza. and messes.

her two favorite things.

eating this straight out of the pan. 

{angels singing}aahhhhhhhhhhh! 

my pallet has finally been disassembled and the nails removed. stage one is complete

now it'll just take 1 year to get thru stage two and three. 

i love to cook. especially with lots of veggies. 

chopping and chopping makes me feel like julia child.

love it.

$1 roll of brown butcher paper from the dollar store. hours of fun.

that place is my friend.

these two are starting to look alike. and they love each other.

big girl. all by her big girl self at the table.

my boys. the big one is my fav, with the little one in a close second.

least favorite ride ever. i have mild panic attacks every time it stops. but i was holding the baby so i couldn't scream.

this is just awesomeness. i love it. it sums up 80% of my day. 

might be one of my favorites. and it might be my frame it moment.

i meal plan. but this this week i started weight watchers. so now i meal plan on a tight budget, on weight watchers, and i'm giving the baby new food. it's complicated, but i love doing it!

she kept asking me to sit and play. so i did. 

we made airplane noises like girls, prince charming drove the mini van, and only elephants were allowed on the ark (her version, not God's obv.). 

it was a good week. busy and crazy and tiring and fun. i hope yours was great. i've been watching the ig feed for snap and i just might try it next year. it looks so fun! we'll have to wait and see.

hope you are all having a great week. linking up with jeanett.

why i should quit facebook, but won't.

this morning i posted on facebook that i was saying 'peace out' to good ole fb. then six hours later, i changed my mind. like a woman. just trying to be consistent with the stereotype.

but truthfully, i am so tired of social media. the ads, and the politics, and the drama, and the over all lameness sometimes. more than anything though, i am more tired of the way i let it control me.

i have, for as long as i can remember, struggled as most women do with friendships. we find so much of our value and satisfaction thru relationships. and i kinda stink at it. or at least i've taught myself to believe that i do. i was in and out of friendships so much in the elementary, jr high, and high school years. never did i have a constant best friend. there were three girls, who were kindred spirits, all thru high school. i praise the lord for them in hind sight. we've kept in touch, but as life often does, it pulls us to our own callings. but, even now in relationships with women i am cautious and yet so hopeful. and that is my main downfall when it comes to social media.

i am constantly putting my hope and my value in what other people think of me, my writing, or my photos. i rarely post on fb these days, unless the kid says something hilarious (or really, i choose to share one of the hilarious moments, because they happen all the time.), but when i do. i am constantly checking to see how many 'likes' or comments i get. this blog here has been a constant source of insecurity. and it's my own fault. i put my heart out there. or my cute craft. and i wait. wait for people to approve of me. wait for people to like me, and with one click of a button say i am important and of value.

and that my friends, is a very dangerous place.

i am grateful that i have matured to the place where i see my insecurity and realize the danger. but, is leaving facebook and all sources of social media the answer?

in a way maybe. but more than leaving social media, i need to seek first the only one who can fulfill me, validate me, and heal my insecurities. i can't just become a hermit. that would make coming back 1000% worse. i must withdraw and find balance, all while retraining my thinking and my priorities.

i am in the trenches with my children. these are the years that mean so very much. laying the foundation for their ability to make relationships and grow to an adult. i am not teaching my son well. and that is a truth that hurts to say out loud. but it is true. it is real. and i never want to be anything but real.

these are lonely years, and i look to blogs where women share their hearts and want to make connections. i need to seek out the relationships that exist in the real world though. i need to do play dates, and coffee, and double dates. but also realize that social media has it's place. it has taken on the facilitation for events, announcements, and, let's be honest, i'd never remember people's birthdays if it weren't for the reminders. i need to stop and focus on my family, and my resposibilities, and myself. but find balance in it all.

balance is the key. and while i strive to find it, i will not go to the opposite extreme for that is not healthy either.

all that to say, i am a mess. but a mess with a plan. and as for now, i am still here, but in much needed moderation.

abc apple clothesline

target dollar section. i don't think i need to say more, but i will. 

target dollar section is one of my favorite places and most dangerous places ever invented. 

i wanted to share a major score i landed on a trip a few months ago.

i found these amazing foam apples there, 10 to a pack. and i had a great idea. it was like lightning had struck my brain. {anyone? anyone?} 

at home i added the lowercase letters to one side, and then numbers 1-20 on the opposite side. my boy knows his uppers by memory so i chose to make them lowers, but if your child does not, always start with uppers. 

i pushed all the junk to one side of the table. laid them out all hodgepodge and strung a line of twine from two chairs across the room. 

i told him he needed to take the apples and put them in order with clothespins.

this was a great activity. he worked on fine motor skills, memory recall (we sang the song any time he couldn't remember which letter was next), letter matching, sequencing, and we even got some patterning in there too.

all in all this cost me $3. and he loved it.  heck yes!!

four

my boy turned four on sunday.

and while i think time is a thief that i'd like to punch in the face, i also think it's fitting to celebrate what a great kid i have.

my four favorite things about him:

1. he is one of the most loving and friendly boys ever.

every day he wants to play with friends or go to see people. he loves giving hugs and comforting those that are sad. even his sister. {although he told me she's not going to get to come on our camping adventure and has to go to grandmas while we have marshmallows.}

2. mr. adventure

 this kid has wanted to ride roller coasters since he could walk. and this year he was tall enough for thunder mountain. the excitement was uncontrollable. he constantly is suggesting going on adventures and climbing tall mountains. 

3. his love for the outdoors.

he will get up in the morning and after asking if we are having a playdate {which usually the answer is no.} the next question is, "can i go outside?" after getting up from nap, "can i go outside?" coming home from school, "can i go outside?" and on it goes. he would sleep outside if i let him, and prefers to pee outside when i let him. 

4. the constant conversation

he almost never stops talking. and though it can often make me bat sh*@ crazy, i can't get enough of it. one day he will stop telling me about every car he sees that he thinks is cool. one day he will stop singing songs about what he is doing, or the neighbors dog who eats squirels. one day he will stop asking me what i think about stuff, or stop thinking i know all about all the stuff he has questions about. 

one day he may not want to talk to me, or tell me that i am the "most favorite mom in the whole wide world." but for now, he does. and i want to listen. 

i love this boy. i am so proud of him, and how big he is. 

happy birthday baby.